CD 18 - Other Motherhood Questions

(see entry 2.19.07) What are the best and worst things about entering motherhood now? What are the easiest and hardest things? How might this impact your relationship with yourself? With your partner? With your career? When you think about entering into a relationship with another, new being, how does it make you feel? What excites you about it? What scares you?

• The best things about entering motherhood now are that I am still considered "young" and I strongly feel God telling me that it's "our" time to be trying. The worst things are just the everyday answers: not enough money (is there ever enough?), busy with other activities, etc.
• The hardest thing I see is going to be deciding what to do about my job. I've only been there 1 year and I look forward to all the opportunities available. I fear it will be a very difficult decision to decide to stay at home, work part time, or be a full time working mom. My mom stayed home until I was about 6 years old and I really value the time we had together during those early years. I don't know yet if working part time in my current department is a possibility and I'm afraid/nervous to ask the question.
• When I've mentioned the possibility of quitting my job, my husband has not been too "keen" on the idea. He went to a babysitter as a kid as his mother was a Kindergarten teacher. In his mind, he "turned out fine." I've told myself to remain open minded as the decision will indeed be very difficult to make and for us as a partnership.
• When I think about entering into a new relationship with a new being, I feel like I just cannot wait to meet her/him. I'm scared because I don't know how to care for a screaming baby at 3 a.m. (but I hope J will help), ;) but I'm excited to be responding to the human instinct of keeping our gene pool going. How thrilling it must be to hold the little being in your arms that is completely and wholly yours, made from your flesh.