A Year of Baby

Thanks again to Sherri of Twist N Snap Photography for A's baby album! Below is a slideshow of our selected prints. Now, I need to get cracking on something for Z. I think I subconsciously knew that we are "two and through," so I wanted to make sure I did baby pictures "right" for A. I am not a scrap-booker, but I have some other ideas for what to do with Z's baby pictures, so we'll see how they turn out...

Mothering Magazine Archives

I've decided to share my digital issues (that have a share link) of Mothering magazine here. Before I had "Z," I subscribed digitally, trying to be "green," but sadly had little time to ever read them... So I gradually browse what I can. I've linked to Peggy O'Mara's beautiful essay, or the top story. Mothering is yet another defunct print publication and is now "web only."

	Jan-Feb 2008
The Business of Being Born

	Mar/Apr 2008
A Birth Renaissance

	May/Jun 2008
Where's Joseph?

	Jul/Aug 2008
The Truth About Circumcision and HIV

	Sep-Oct 2008
Reel Milk

	Nov-Dec 2008
Keeping it Simple

	Mar-Apr 2009
peggy's kitchen

	May-Jun 2009
breast IS best

	Sep-Oct 2009
Birth Stories You'll Love

	Nov-Dec 2009
Killer Fear

	Mar-Apr 2010
a child's world: your indoor playground

	Jul-Aug 2010
homemade soft drinks

	Sep-Oct 2010
Do-it-Yourself Birth

	Jan-Feb 2011
why we need more midwives. now.

	Mar-Apr 2011
A Green Clean

Life and Death...

I will take a similar format to my friend's recent blog post and throw two subjects into one post. I know it has been a long time since we have updated anything here but I do intend to keep this blog somewhat alive!

On life: We are planning the arrival of a new gift in early April! I feel so blessed and am eager to meet our new son or daughter. I have been feeling "so-so" as I near the end of the first trimester. I will plan to update my "Mommy" blog once again on our progress.

And on death: We said goodbye to our pastor's wife Teddi Nelson on Tuesday. She left to be with the Lord on Sunday, the 13th. She battled pancreatic cancer for eight months. Damn you, cancer. I found her funeral very touching and a wonderful tribute to her amazing life. Many, many, many people attended. I could not even participate in the church. I watched from a satellite location in our church's Activities Center. I agree with Abby on how incredible it is the number of people brought together surrounding a death (and also a wedding).

I was moved to tears by her drawing printed on the back of the program with happy, pastel colors of a rainbow and clouds, which read, "I am filled with the peace of the Holy Spirit. - Teddi." She drew it the day she went into hospice care. Pastor Dave, who says he could not say "no" to his wife of 33 years, gave the sermon at her funeral as she requested him to do. (Can you imagine what that must have been like for him?) He shared of a day not long before she died when she woke up in her room where religious music was playing. She asked the caregiver to turn off the music, stating that the angels were talking to her and she wanted to hear what they were saying. I truly believe she is now with our Lord and Savior and is finally at peace. What an honor.

Teddi was special to me and our congregation and, as a PK-K teacher, was passionate about children. She attended Zyler's church baby shower and I will always remember her by the wall hanging she gave us for his nursery.

Pastor Dave presided at our wedding. In fact, ours was his first wedding in Virginia. We think quite fondly of him and admire his strength and leadership throughout this obviously trying period.

I will close with a short prayer...
May God bless Pastor Dave's son James' wedding this Saturday! Bring peace and healing to Pastor Dave, his family, and our church in our time of grief. And God, thank you for this new life we are eager to welcome. Watch over and protect the new baby and my body as I carry and nourish it during such a crucial time of development. We are truly blessed and humbled. ~ Amen.

Gift Idea

Here is a great gift idea! Nature's Child: Wholesome Goods for Mothers & Babies is in Charlottesville, VA. It appears they offer safe, natural minded products. Gift certificates available.

Baby Game... Any Last Minute Guesses?

Visit http://expectnet.com/games/kitefamily to place your vote on the birth date, gender, and more. Or visit expectnet.com and enter "kitefamily" as the game name.

The Business of Being Born

We saw this film about having babies in America a few weeks back and highly recommend it! Add it to your Netflix queue today...

For Fun... Play Our Baby Game

Guess what gender we're having and more! Check out this site to place your vote: http://expectnet.com/games/kitefamily

Remembering The Angels

Today I remember a year ago when we lost our angel to a "missed abortion (miscarriage)" and my D&C surgery at RMH. In many ways I find it hard to believe it has already been a year. 365 days. A full 12 months. God is so good in healing and providing peace. I recognize how much I have to be thankful for. Of course, our current pregnancy and the life we pray to have the honor of bringing into the world in just a few months... But mainly today I think of the ever so kind nursing staff of RMH... The loved ones who sent a card or who approached me with a difficult conversation concerning our loss... And the friends and family with whom I will always share a bond of having lost a pre-term baby.

I also remember today all the sweet babies lost by miscarriage, still birth, and premature delivery. I imagine them all playing in Heaven together!

The Word is Out

So the word is "out!" We're expecting a baby again! The official estimated due date is January 8, 2008. We are very excited, yet of course guarded and cautious. We are trusting in God's protection!

If you would like to follow the details, please visit the baby blog.

Thank you so much for all of your well wishes, prayers, and support.

In Memoriam

Rebekah Grace (2/10/07) & Jacob Nathaniel (2/13/07)... twins that God took from our cousin at just 20 weeks along... So sweet and perfect lil' angels.

As you do not know the path of the wind, or how the body is formed [a] in a mother's womb, so you cannot understand the work of God, the Maker of all things.
~ Ecclesiastes 11:5

"For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways," declares the LORD. "As the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts.
~ Isaiah 55:8-9

The Due Date

This week was our "due week" of our angel we lost in July. The actual original due date was 2/11/07 (this Sunday). It's surreal to imagine that we could be home with our tiny one already, or anxiously awaiting her arrival. I have heard that the anniversary of the miscarriage ends up being more difficult to face than the actual due date, which I think may be the case for me as well. I have prayed that God will bless us with a baby in His proper timing. Unfortunately the weeks surrounding February 11 just wasn't that time. I so wanted to be pregnant again before this date to help ease or erase any added anxiety of losing the baby, but I recognize that it wasn't necessary. God has protected us and our emotions, and the life of our unborn child who most likely would not have had a healthy or favorable quality of life had it lived even a short time.

Why, God?

I know we shouldn't question God, but... I just don't get it! A friend of a friend is 6 weeks pregnant with her 3rd child. She will have an 18-mo old, an infant, and a toddler in about 9 months! She is stressed and not very happy about it yet. It's unplanned and totally an accident. She had just been fitted for a diaphram! OOPS too late! Grrrrrr! I know this woman has been praying for us and I really do wish the best for her and her family. Any baby is a Precious Gift. However, with the struggle we have been through so far, I really do marvel at how many accident babies enter this world. I have to trust that God knows what's best for us and that He is walking right along with us in this journey!

Returning Friday

Jason is to return Friday night. He's scheduled to fly out of Obregon, Mexico 1025 EST and arrive in Charlottesville @ 2040 EST (with a couple of different flights in between). The dogs and I will be so excited! He hasn't been feeling well. :( Something with his stomach and bad allergies. (No, he's not drinking the water.) He's ready to come home.

We had my good friend spend the weekend with her boys (1 and 4). They were a joy and the dogs loved having them. We both were so impressed with how well they did with the little kids. Yay that is great for us when and if we have the pitter patter of those little feet! ;-)

Recent Happenings

OK, time for an update... Jason has been very busy at work with projects... and another project... and, oh yeah, we can ask Jason to do this project too! All due yesterday, right?!?

Paige helped train a friend's horse a couple of weeks ago and got an awesome riding lesson from her at the same time. It was so fun to teach the horse and to be learning too!!!! Only the second time someone had been on Kiari. More training for her to come, maybe tomorrow.

Indy & Razor are well, though we suspect Razor has fairly profound hip dysplasia. This is a very common problem in the Labrador Retriever and is so sad when the popular breeds are literally "overbred" and create even more health problems.

And we are still TTC (that's cyber for trying to conceive). God willing, this time next year maybe we'll have one more with us "at home for the holidays!"

~ Merry Christmas ~

Opening Up

The more you open up to people, the more stories you hear that identify with you. With 1 in 5 pregnancies ending in miscarriages, you are bound to come across another several women in your path in a day who have gone through at least 1. Over the weekend, I spoke with a former coworker who lost her son's twin when she was 4 months along. As though that were not heartbreaking enough, she went on to share about her relative who experienced 10 mc's before she finally had her son at age 30. I had read about another woman also who had I think 13, and she was still going to try yet again. What strength and determination those women must have had. And back then, I think in the 50s, the medical community knew even less about mc. She had no answers at all, and clung to hope all those years that "maybe this one, yes, maybe this one I will carry to term." Finally her 11th stuck. What a blessing. God's perfect little miracle had to wait that long. I cannot imagine the anguish she and her husband went through. I don't know her religious background, but I have to believe that her faith in God provided her much strength throughout it all, as it has for me.

1 in 5

Greetings all. Paige here. There is no easy way to say it. We've had a miscarriage. I'm writing this 8/29 but wanted to change the post date to the date of my D&C, so our events are chronological. The EDD of our baby was to be 2/11/07. We are healing. I am into the anger and seeking answers phase. I had next to no physical pain with the whole ordeal. We found out on an ultrasound that our baby had died around 6 weeks. We were devastated but we want to try again. There are so many questions. Of course, why? And, why did it have to be our first baby? Why couldn't we have experienced it at least once first? It is somewhat comforting that it is common (1 in 5 pregnancies), but WHY so common? Things happen for a reason... nature's way... God's way... blah blah blah. Those answers aren't really answers and don't make it feel much better. But I am finding strength in God. He IS healing. He is grieving with us. Please pray for the safety and health of our child who we hope will be with us one day. In God's time.

Dear child of God,

You were with us for only a short while, but I will never forget you. I love you.

Love, Mommy