Fatigue Update

I've hesitated writing this post for a long time, mostly because I've thought,

"Who wants to hear more complaining about being tired? Aren't most of us tired most of the time?" 

Particularly parents. The free time is scarce and to have any takes work and planning. Put it on the calendar. Set up the babysitter. Plan ahead the meals, etc. Even free time is work.

Then I decided to update this in case I could help anyone else out there experiencing similar symptoms.

I remember being tired and staying tired ever since A. was born in March 2010. She started to sleep better, but I didn't. I was stressed and couldn't relax my mind. I finally worked through some of those issues in 2011 and eventually obtained good stretches of sleep, 7-8 hours long. But I was still cranky, snippy at my children and hubby, and exhausted. I began to feel depressed and a little helpless. I couldn't imagine beginning an exercise regimen, but I knew it could help, so I did some Yoga and Jillian Michaels DVDs a couple of times per week. I actually remember yawning about 15 minutes into a Jillian DVD and thinking,

"My heart rate is up pretty good. I should not be yawning!"

Despite my attempts, I didn't feel much difference in my energy level.

Finally in early 2012, I went back to my nurse-midwife who counseled me about my Mirena IUD. After much trouble shooting and questions, she ordered a round of labs and determined that my ferritin (iron stores) were depleted! DOH. I've had iron troubles in the past, but never thought that would be an issue now since I am a regular blood donor. At the blood bank, they always check my iron, right? But that's hemoglobin. A totally different reading.

On Thursday I go back for my ferritin recheck. I've been on a supplement that I took during pregnancy, also, called Floradix Iron + Herbs. It is a different type of iron from what my CNM recommended, however. I'm still feeling tired, but I don't think as badly as I once was. I'm no longer in that tired, foggy state all day. But this morning, I woke up feeling so draggy, even after a solid 8 hours sleep! What up??

And, yes, I'm also trying to incorporate more spinach, kale, and other iron rich foods into my diet on a regular basis. On a regular basis is my challenge. I'd like to eat less meat for other health reasons, but I find that if I back off from the beef too much, the fatigue will creep back a few weeks later.

Baby steps are definitely the answer for me in creating life long habits of any kind. Exercising is another one. I'd like to share another update soon regarding my fitness journey. I need to get it written, as I don't want to forget how far I've come.

5/20 Update: I forgot to mention that I have been forbidden to donate more blood. It depleted my iron stores. I'm still sad. My O- blood was tagged for babies, and it was an easy way to give back. :(

My First 5k! at the 2012 ComfortCare Annual Stride for Life

My journey toward improved wellness and the Tough Mudder Meetup group has lead me to work toward running a 5k on May 12 to support ComfortCare Women's Health! 

You may be wondering, what is "ComfortCare Women's Health?" In short, it is a Christian-based organization in which the the bulk of their patient counseling occurs for women with unplanned pregnancies. 

Z & A are now 4 and 2, and they were definitely "planned"; however, I honestly cannot imagine what my life would be like without them! 

As you may know, I had a planned home birth with Ahila. You might imagine how important to me it is for women of all ages be educated, informed, and therefore empowered. So, this year I am running my first ever 5k to raise money for this wonderful organization. On a selfish note, I hope to improve my health while I'm at it! 

Can you give to this cause on my behalf and support my run? I appreciate your support! Even a small amount can go a long way. Thank you so much! 


Visit my fundraising page here: 


2012 ComfortCare Annual Stride for Life

Looking for Tough Mudders

Back in February, I received a notice about a Meetup group inviting me to train for a Tough Mudder event in September. The recommended training seems grueling, much less the event itself. I'm still soul searching and considering the event itself, but have begun participating in the training group to get my exercise butt into gear. Anyone care to join us? Wanna get muddy??? We're working toward building our running endurance right now and are looking forward to a 5k coming up in May. More on that later!

Below are some clips about the Tough Mudder event.

Daily Audio Bible

I have really been enjoying this podcast. I subscribed through iTunes and listen to a Bible reading each day. Browse the website and explore the community a bit... It has been a wonderful way of getting some extra personal Bible study into my daily routine.

Life and Death...

I will take a similar format to my friend's recent blog post and throw two subjects into one post. I know it has been a long time since we have updated anything here but I do intend to keep this blog somewhat alive!

On life: We are planning the arrival of a new gift in early April! I feel so blessed and am eager to meet our new son or daughter. I have been feeling "so-so" as I near the end of the first trimester. I will plan to update my "Mommy" blog once again on our progress.

And on death: We said goodbye to our pastor's wife Teddi Nelson on Tuesday. She left to be with the Lord on Sunday, the 13th. She battled pancreatic cancer for eight months. Damn you, cancer. I found her funeral very touching and a wonderful tribute to her amazing life. Many, many, many people attended. I could not even participate in the church. I watched from a satellite location in our church's Activities Center. I agree with Abby on how incredible it is the number of people brought together surrounding a death (and also a wedding).

I was moved to tears by her drawing printed on the back of the program with happy, pastel colors of a rainbow and clouds, which read, "I am filled with the peace of the Holy Spirit. - Teddi." She drew it the day she went into hospice care. Pastor Dave, who says he could not say "no" to his wife of 33 years, gave the sermon at her funeral as she requested him to do. (Can you imagine what that must have been like for him?) He shared of a day not long before she died when she woke up in her room where religious music was playing. She asked the caregiver to turn off the music, stating that the angels were talking to her and she wanted to hear what they were saying. I truly believe she is now with our Lord and Savior and is finally at peace. What an honor.

Teddi was special to me and our congregation and, as a PK-K teacher, was passionate about children. She attended Zyler's church baby shower and I will always remember her by the wall hanging she gave us for his nursery.

Pastor Dave presided at our wedding. In fact, ours was his first wedding in Virginia. We think quite fondly of him and admire his strength and leadership throughout this obviously trying period.

I will close with a short prayer...
May God bless Pastor Dave's son James' wedding this Saturday! Bring peace and healing to Pastor Dave, his family, and our church in our time of grief. And God, thank you for this new life we are eager to welcome. Watch over and protect the new baby and my body as I carry and nourish it during such a crucial time of development. We are truly blessed and humbled. ~ Amen.

First Family Photo

Baby 060,
originally uploaded by blessed_in_va.

Taken just minutes after Zyler's birth, January 6, 2008, Harrisonburg, VA. Check out more Zyler and family photos here, or click on our Flickr display to the right.

Remembering The Angels

Today I remember a year ago when we lost our angel to a "missed abortion (miscarriage)" and my D&C surgery at RMH. In many ways I find it hard to believe it has already been a year. 365 days. A full 12 months. God is so good in healing and providing peace. I recognize how much I have to be thankful for. Of course, our current pregnancy and the life we pray to have the honor of bringing into the world in just a few months... But mainly today I think of the ever so kind nursing staff of RMH... The loved ones who sent a card or who approached me with a difficult conversation concerning our loss... And the friends and family with whom I will always share a bond of having lost a pre-term baby.

I also remember today all the sweet babies lost by miscarriage, still birth, and premature delivery. I imagine them all playing in Heaven together!

The Word is Out

So the word is "out!" We're expecting a baby again! The official estimated due date is January 8, 2008. We are very excited, yet of course guarded and cautious. We are trusting in God's protection!

If you would like to follow the details, please visit the baby blog.

Thank you so much for all of your well wishes, prayers, and support.

Snakes on a Plane... or in the Kitchen?

Over my exciting birthday weekend... I watched a 6-foot black snake sneaking down our kitchen wall! I let it get away (back up through the ceiling)... and we still haven't caught it. Here is one picture:




The photo link (if you cannot view the above) can be found here

NE Trip - Survived

We returned yesterday from our road trip after driving 1,750 miles! We had a great time and are exhausted and are now catching up at home. We'll try to post some pictures soon. Here's a rundown of where we visited:

• 5/19 - Grizzly showroom, Muncy, PA
• 5/20 - driving
• 5/21 - Hancock Shaker Village, Hancock, MA; Boston, MA
  
• 5/22 - Boston, MA
• 5/23 - Boston, MA; Gillette Castle, East Haddam, CT; Montauk, Long Island, NY
  
• 5/24 - New York, NY; Shenandoah, VA
• 5/25 - HOME, Waynesboro, VA
  

Care Receiver

I have intended to post for quite some time about Stephen Ministry. I posted about it a while back. I went through hours upon hours of training last year to become a Stephen Minister at our church. Finally, after much patience and faithful S.M. "supervision" meeting attendance, I finally got matched with a "care receiver." Due to confidentiality, I will not reveal the source of her crisis or reason she needed a Stephen Minister. I simply express my thankfulness to God in allowing me to serve in this manner. The ministry is very quiet compared to other typical ministries in a church, as Stephen Ministry does not receive a grand amount of attention from a congregation. However, it is incredibly rewarding and offers vast room for personal and Christian growth. I look forward to more learning from and more listening to my care receiver in the coming months.

Northeast Trip

We are thinking of visiting a couple of friends in Massachusetts & New York City, and seeing some sights. Here are some scattered thoughts about our trip. We've never spent longer than 1 or 2 days in the City. Please offer any words of advice or suggestions for us on what to see or do... or not!

Miscellaneous

We attended a surprise 60th birthday party tonight for Uncle Jim. They had him fooled until he saw his son's (Jason's cousin) car. Then he knew he had been "set up" in his words. What a fun night, though. He is such a good sport.

We need to take pictures of the living room. It is "torn apart" in almost every sense. When we bought the house in '03 almost every room and hallway had the horrifying 70s wallpaper... and shag carpet. We're down to seven rooms and one hallway (I think--sometimes my math isn't the best) with the ugly wallpaper. Anyway the living room has the wains coating removed and I've finally finished stripping wallpaper and washing off the paste. No more wallpaper!! Ever!! I think it is supposedly fairly easy to remove the newer type of wallpaper and paste, but after everything we've seen and done thus far, I don't think we would want to touch it ever again! It seems so much easier to paint a new color when you're bored with the look. I've even tried my hand at sponge painting in the dining room. My friend actually thought it was wallpaper, so I must have done a decent job.

Tomorrow I'll do a pilates class at Gold's Gym with a friend I've met through church who also has struggled with fertility (i.e., multiple miscarriages and a still birth). I need to get back to an exercise routine. It really helps my stress level. Hopefully this class can be my push back into it.

Jason is off to Mexico again in a week. It won't be so bad for us this time since it will be only one week instead of two (barring no travel challenges on the return trip).

Try a New Service Next Week

On Sunday we attended a new-to-us worship of sorts. My friend Matt invited us to their "Gospel meeting." I thought what better way than to use this medium and write about my reflection.

First a little bit of background. Matt wrote about his church, and rather than try to re-explain it, here's the link to that entry.

Since my year in LVC, I have been more open to attending and participating in different religious services. Not just Christian. Baha'i, for example, and Jewish. I am not searching spiritually for a new religion, but I appreciate a better understanding of how other folk live! A tenant of LVC is to grow spiritually, and to do that I feel we must have an understanding of where our friends and community members are spiritually rooted.

I decided not to ask many questions about the meeting and to arrive and go with what happened. These are fellow Christians, after all, how different could it be? I enjoy attending different churches also (Presbyterian, Baptist, Catholic, etc), but somehow I always end up back in the Lutheran church. I entered with an open mind.

We arrived at the house where they meet, just a few minutes from our house in fact. Since doing my LVC year and learning more about diversity, I have been more in tune with race in different situations and noticed that every soul (about 20 couple) in the room was Caucasian. Nothing good, bad, or indifferent about it, just an observation.

Before the meeting started, everyone was very quiet. They appeared reflective, and some were reading their Bibles. I didn't bring mine, so I prayed. This was very different for me as I'm accustomed to fellowship and sharing before service. Then promptly at 1000, meeting started with an a cappella hymn, followed by the sharing of prayers, communion, general reflections about the week, and another hymn. (I hope I didn't leave out a component.)

Throughout the meeting, I felt that I missed so many parts of a Lutheran service. I found myself trying to remember the Apostle's Creed, a piece of liturgy we say almost every week. I came home promptly to look it up and recite it. I also said the Lord's Prayer to myself a few times. I actually yearned for the rhythm, cadence, flow, liturgy, and responsiveness of the traditional Lutheran service. (A reader or minister calls out or sings and the congregation reads or sings a response.) This tradition has very old roots, I believe dating back to the Catholic church, pre-Luther. Even with communion, as the bread and wine were passed, I said to myself, "The body of Christ, given for you" and "The blood of Christ, shed for you."

Also I missed the message, the sermon, a leader. In the Lutheran church we stand for the Gospel reading out of respect for the Gospel, and afterward the pastor gives a message, or sermon, that relates to that week's reading. I feel that is where I "get something" out of service. Along with the music. I love the musical component of a Lutheran service.

What I learned:

• While it would be ideal for us to find a church closer to home, I'm really happy with the leadership, fellowship, and various ministries that Muhlenberg has available.
• The Lutheran service is "comfortable" for me, but I am able to enjoy it even more now as an adult and reflect on each component the more I get to study each one. The more I enjoy a service, the closer I feel to God.
• I was especially impressed with the thoughtful scripture reflection that the members made. I hope this is my "boost" and inspiration to make time for daily scripture readings.

So try a new service next week. You might learn something!

Praise God from Whom ALL Blessings Flow!

I have been saying this to myself the past week or so. I'm not sure why it's gotten in my head. A true message from Him, I'm sure. It's the first line of a Christian hymn, "Doxology." We sung it a lot in the church in which I grew up (Pleasant View Lutheran Church, Staunton), and I probably haven't sung it in years, so it surprised me when I began rehearsing it to myself. I don't typically break out in song, so I got an odd look from Jason at home. :) The verse reads as follows:

Praise God, from Whom all blessings flow;
Praise Him, all creatures here below;
Praise Him above, ye Heavenly Host.
Praise Father, Son & Holy Ghost.
Amen.

And so, in between breaking out in song singing this tune, I have been mentally Praising God and Giving Thanks for my various blessings this week:

• good health
• vocation I enjoy
  
• happy marriage
• safe and warm shelter
• new friends who invite me to worship with them
• renewed and growing peace and support during our TTC journey
• and everything(one) else I take for granted on a daily basis

Praise God from Whom all blessings flow!

1 in 2... or 3 in 5 ?

Last Monday we attended a bereaved parents service hosted by the Grief & Loss Center of RMH. They are in about the 20th year of holding this event. The gentle words that were spoken about our babies and our feelings brought back the emotions like our m/c happened weeks ago instead of months. We took an ornament that read "Hope" and placed it on the tree there in memory of our baby. We did not name her but I had a feeling it was a girl. If you are at RMH and would like to see the bereaved parents' tree, it is in the Treatment Center. It was comforting in a way to be able to see faces of others who have also lost babies from miscarriage or still birth (since the support group has not been meeting). We spoke to a family who had 2 living boys with them and the mother had experienced 4 miscarriages. They attend the service every year.

Since then, I started researching more statistics about miscarriage, because I started to realize how many miscarriages seem to happen in the first pregnancy. I already knew that 1 in 5 or possibly 1 in 3 pregnancies end in miscarriage. (Could be as high as 40% because many happen early, even before a positive pregnancy test, many times without the woman knowing she was pregnant.) But a startling 50%-60% of first pregnancies end in miscarriage, which includes the estimate of women who don't know they were pregnant. That number comes from http://www.bellaonline.com/articles/art12024.asp. And according to HopeXchange: "approximately 90% of women who have had one miscarriage, go on to have a normal pregnancy and a healthy baby next time." Yes, this is good news!

But a lesson here: Be armed with this knowledge, but please, don't quote statistics to someone who has had a recent loss. While it's common, statistically it is most likely not common for her or the couple you know. In time they may take some comfort in their own way in the numbers. Let them ask the questions in their own time. Everyone grieves in different ways and different time frames. When it's fresh, they most need you to acknowledge her individual loss, not everyone else's.

Recent Happenings

OK, time for an update... Jason has been very busy at work with projects... and another project... and, oh yeah, we can ask Jason to do this project too! All due yesterday, right?!?

Paige helped train a friend's horse a couple of weeks ago and got an awesome riding lesson from her at the same time. It was so fun to teach the horse and to be learning too!!!! Only the second time someone had been on Kiari. More training for her to come, maybe tomorrow.

Indy & Razor are well, though we suspect Razor has fairly profound hip dysplasia. This is a very common problem in the Labrador Retriever and is so sad when the popular breeds are literally "overbred" and create even more health problems.

And we are still TTC (that's cyber for trying to conceive). God willing, this time next year maybe we'll have one more with us "at home for the holidays!"

~ Merry Christmas ~

3 Years And Counting

That's right, we made it to 3 years. Being married that is. It has flown by. The gorgeous fall leaves remind us so much of that day, like it was last week!

To celebrate, yesterday we hiked about 8 miles of Blue Ridge Mountain beauty. One of the highlights was Crabtree Falls. Our understanding is that it's the highest falls east of the Mississippi. Google it for some amazing pix. It is just 2 miles to the top and worth every step!

A Hero

Including Jesus... of course!

Sheri Lynch of the Bob & Sheri Show is my "hero." If you ever get a chance to download their podcast show, check them out. They are so funny together, and I relate to Sheri on so many levels. Today they took calls on creepy men and women we've encountered... Hmmmm let me check my memory archives... It's been a while...

~ P

Opening Up

The more you open up to people, the more stories you hear that identify with you. With 1 in 5 pregnancies ending in miscarriages, you are bound to come across another several women in your path in a day who have gone through at least 1. Over the weekend, I spoke with a former coworker who lost her son's twin when she was 4 months along. As though that were not heartbreaking enough, she went on to share about her relative who experienced 10 mc's before she finally had her son at age 30. I had read about another woman also who had I think 13, and she was still going to try yet again. What strength and determination those women must have had. And back then, I think in the 50s, the medical community knew even less about mc. She had no answers at all, and clung to hope all those years that "maybe this one, yes, maybe this one I will carry to term." Finally her 11th stuck. What a blessing. God's perfect little miracle had to wait that long. I cannot imagine the anguish she and her husband went through. I don't know her religious background, but I have to believe that her faith in God provided her much strength throughout it all, as it has for me.